I'm not sure I would seriously go down the returning to ED route.  It's a tempting thought.  I think if it was going to happen I'd have done  it when I had PND.

This may sound blunt but unless you're seriously ill with an ED, or you want medication or counselling for depression there is no help.  Thankfully I have friends around me and yes I'm talking to them or they read this!

Today is a better day.  Today is a mother will be mother and I can't change her sort of day.  She as no idea how much she upsets and hurts me.  When she does these things.  Maybe I should tell her.

Ultimately I know my worth is found in God.  My freedom is found in Christ.  And I should spend time around people that build me up not put me down.  I just wish things were different but I don't have the guts or the confidence to change things.  But it's not always so easy to remember and hang on to these things.  When I've had a down couple of days it's easy to let these things go.

Also I don't have the will power to just not eat any more.  I need to find some motivation and will power to eat more healthily and  properly and sensibly and cut out the comfort and junk food.  I say as I'm eating the sweets and cake from Joel's party bag, well he won't eat them!   Yesterday I was upset.  Everything I wrote was true.  But today is a better more positive day.  So things don't bug me as much.