3 Days

So I've not been up to much, I've been bored and lazy.  If I stopped being lazy then I might not be so bored, but hey ho!  Thursday, I had coffee with one of the mum's from school.  Then didn't do a lot after that.  Messed around on Facebook mainly.  Friday, Esther was at her childminder's.  A uni friend popped round for a bit then I finished a job application and took it back to the school.  I also cleaned the inside of most of the window's which is a rare occasion!!  Friday early evening is a youth club outreach.  It was good, although I always feel I'm not good enough at talking to the young people and am not friendly enough.  I'd rather hide in the kitchen and run the tuck shop!  This morning I wasted watching rubbish on iplayer, still it was entertaining rubbish!  Met a student from church for coffee this afternoon which was good.  I won't go into details, I don't think she'd want me to.

But on the whole I've been messing around on facebook or watching iplayer when I should be doing house jobs.  Just makes me feel useless and lazy.  But they're boring and I have no motivation to do them.  That's normal and life though I guess.

I feel like this whole thing with mother is hanging over me all the time though.  Makes me feel rubbish.  Mum emailed me on Monday, I replied on Wednesday and I've not heard from her since.  I just hate the way she makes out that I've hurt and upset her when all I've done is stand up for myself and stand up for Joel.  I refuse to apologise when I've not done anything wrong.  Anyway I'll stop.  I'm sure I'm starting to sound like a stuck record.  Can you tell it's really bugging me!