Well, today has been a very God day! We have this guest speaker at church called William Lee. He spoke last night, this morning and this evening. I was on Sunday school this morning so missed it but was there last night and this evening. This guy William Lee was a gypsy and an alcoholic. He got saved and now is a man of God whom God uses powerfully. He’s very down to earth, very normal very funny, very unassuming. He says he’s not surprised when God heals people he prays for now he’s surprised when people don’t get healed!
I’ve not had a great week, I’ve been down, had no energy or motivation, just general depression stuff, nothing in particular that was wrong. But it’s been 16 months of post natal depression / general depression. I had a better time in the Spring but then was down again over the summer. I had just got to a point where something had to change. I have been trying to make small changes myself things to help, I’m doing a couple of new things and have one or two other new things planned. I’m giving up work in two weeks. These things are good but don’t make the depression go away. Something had to go, something had to change.
I have been expectant this afternoon. Looking forwards to this evening, knowing God would move and would do something but not having a clue what. I love Sunday evening services and miss them now they are monthly not weekly. There’s something about them, the worship is different the atmosphere is different to mornings, I can’t put my finger on it but I like it. This evening the worship was great, the preach was good, then comes the ministry time. I used to be scared of these, But more on that another time.
The speaker / preacher was praying for new Christians then he said something about not all illness is physical and he wanted to pray for emotional illness this evening for people suffering from anxiety and depression. That was enough for me. I went out for prayer. Our senior pastor came to pray for me and asked me what I wanted prayer for, I said I had post natal depression, but not many people new. As I was saying the words I couldn’t believe I was admitting this to him. He prayed for me. Then the pastor of our church’s outreach service (in Kilburn) came over and said to Paul (who was stood behind me :-) ) Can I pray for your lovely wife ;-) I then said it again and couldn’t believe I was repeating it that I had post natal depression. He prayed for me.
I could really feel God’s presence and closeness. I believe God heals and has healed me. I said above something had to change, something needed to happen and it did. We will see in the morning if I feel human and can get up without dragging myself reluctantly out of bed. But I am expectant and believing that this is the change I as waiting for and God has healed me.
I believe God does and can heal and he has healed me before. A few years ago probably 6 or 7 there was a Canadian speaker at church called Marc Dupont. He also has a healing ministry, God heals people through him praying for people. I had been having problems with my knee for about 4 or 5 years and had had two lots of physio and was on a waiting list for an operation. But at one of the Marc Dupont meetings our assistant pastor prayed for me and my knee was healed. I have had no problems with it since even through two pregnancies when you might expect these things to flare up.
So my God saves, my God heals, my God is great!
Writing this will probably become a daily occurrence but I need to go to bed. So that’s it for today.
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