My 36 hours off. :-)

I caught the train to Newcastle to see little Helen.  She’s younger than me and shorter than me, hence the nick name!!  Her dad cooked us lunch then we went to the hospice / hospital where her mum has been living for the last year.  This was hard as I’ve heard from Helen and her Dad how she is but this is the first time I’ve actually seen her. 

We then went back to Helen’s for a bit to chat then in to town for a drink and cake before the gig.  The final YFriday gig was great.  Really good worship, great how the band honour and give glory to God in all they do.  They thanked their families for all their support as well, which was good. 

Me and Helen were talking not long ago about how God often makes us emotional / makes us cry in worship when we are actually ok to grab our attention.  Well I was expectant, expecting to meet with God that evening through the worship and open to whatever he wanted to do.  However I really wasn’t expecting what happened!!  I don’t think I’m quite up to fully explaining and sharing.  But something I thought was my plan and my idea I realised was actually God’s plan and God’s idea and that I had not been following it.  So lots of tears, sad and happy ones, awesome worship, I really felt I had met with God.  A great night.  I’m still feeling a bit like did that really happen?!?!  Bumped in to a few friends at the gig from various places which was lovely to see them. 

Monday I had breakfast with Helen then got the train to Thirsk to see another Helen.  We had a lovely afternoon catching up.  I then had to change trains in York on the way home and had a pleasant chat to and a drink with mum during my half hour wait.  She didn’t bug me about Joel and we got on without her annoying me too much, lol. 

Can’t remember if I’ve written about this in previous posts.  Me and Mum get on when she’s not annoying me or bugging me but we’ve never been close and I don’t really talk to her about anything in any depth.  I know I need to make more an effort to get on with mum and to share things with her.  I find this really hard though.  It’s 2 steps forwards and 3 steps back.  Something I had got better at but then slipped back into was to call her mum not mother.  I call her mother because she doesn’t like it.  I need to make more of an effort with this again.  I felt God said to me a couple of years ago that I need to discuss certain things with mum.  To say did you know that this, this and this happened.  And for me, if you did know why didn’t you do anything about it and why didn’t you support me?!  I’ve had opportunities to discuss things with her but have chickened out.  As a teenager my support came from my church and other Christian friends, not my parents. 

Then got the train home to my babies.  Esther had a couple of grumpy times because I wasn’t there.  First thing Monday morning and after her sleep on Monday.  But other than that they were fine without me.